We Have (most honorable) Porn………and cake.

Oh, c’mon.  You couldn’t expect me to pass on leading with THAT snap from dealer row.  It’s a science fiction con. What were you expecting?  Yeah, yeah, okay. 

Ahem.  Here’s what I probably should have led with.  Me, left.  Alisa, right.

So what DID become of our foray into the depths of Arisia 2009?  The original purpose of going was to support my pal Alisa Sheckley Kwitney who was speaking on four different panels.  I was also curious to see more of the science fiction conference world since my past experience has focused on RWA events. 

I was also in the mood to road trip, and, in fact, I did take the train out to the wilds of outer New York where Alisa picked me up in her jalopy and drove us off to Boston.  First up, however, was the requisite diner breakfast.  I’m a huge fan of the diner breakfast.  This was a particularly fine iteration. 

 

Aside from really stellar food, the placemat was a total bonus. You’ve got to love the small town. Where else can you find an advert for a massage therapist named “Raven P. Strange” next to one for a llama rental? (You realize we are not actually at the science fiction convention yet.)

After breakfast we hopped back in the car and sped off toward our destination.  As it turned out, neither of us had brought an Official Roadtrip Checklist and subsequently we had not thought to prepare our musical selections.  We tried sharing a set of earplugs so we could listen to our iPod/Blackberry; as you can see, that was amusing and somewhat lame…but ultimately inconvenient.

That would explain why we spent the bulk of the Roadtrip Sing-a-Long trading between the soundtrack for the musical Spring Awakening (“We’re Fucked!” being the most popular song selection) and a Best of Hall & Oates disc, the origins of which Alisa claims to have no knowledge. (Yeah, sure. You just loooove to sing “Rich Girl” when you’re alone in the car, doncha?)

After we’d “gone too far” and were aware that “it didn’t matter anyway,” we arrived in Boston (or Cambridge or wherever it was) and Alisa decided that “the L.A. driver” (me!) should take over driving responsibilities for the city portion.  I swear to god, I asked if she was really sure that’s what she wanted, and she said the city part required my mad L.A. driving skillz.  And that’s what I gave her. It was so much fun watching her throw out “seatbelt arm” every three seconds as I invoked the L.A. Law of Driving ["Always act under the assumption that a) the other person will always act as if they have the right of way and that b) the other person understands that you will act as if you have the right of way."]  It’s like double offensive driving–nobody ever crashes.  Brilliant.

We made it to the hotel alive, and I realized immediately that our sunny charm made us instantly dislikable in the state of Massachussetts.  Once we’d established that the desk people disliked us instantly for no apparent reason and the concierge disliked us instantly for no apparent reason and everyone else in the hotel from New England disliked us instantly for no apparent reason, we went to our rooms and unpacked for the con, and I called Cambridge native Megan Frampton to lodge a complaint against her people.  She laughed at me, an appropriate response, and off Alisa and I went to catch the last bit of Friday night con.

Lemme just throw down the best of the pix for Friday and Saturday:

Samaurai Luggage Cart

Gross Things. Fun!

Knights in Full F-ing Armor. Dude.

Wish I could have snapped her using her Blackberry. Anachronisms, yay!

Alisa, on panel explaining something very important and interesting.

So much better than Spanx. I'll have to remember that...

Um, what the hell?

Nope, still not sure.

Tall kick-assery.

I totally have that same wig!

I wouldn't want to use the bathroom after her. Just sayin'

"Yes, it is rather large, isn't it?"

Steampunk Spider. Woot!

Hard to tell, but this is a man in a skintight leopard suit with a red cape and matching boots performing a modern interpretive dance with R2D2.

Me wanna pet the nice doggie! (Er, explain THAT one to the kid.)

Well, them’s the goods.  I’m off to bed.  I was only there for half the time.  I’ve got to put a call into Alisa to find out what happened after I left…I am happy to report, however, that she did get home safely.  Heh.

Liz